Sunday, April 4, 2010

My Bookish Fears

Everyone has fears, right? I happen to have some reasonable (?) fears book-related. I find my self being threatened with these everyday. This must explain, why since I began reading back in September 09, I haven't read a large amount of books. By posting this, I hope to find a solution to my bookish fears.

I'm not crazy in no way, it's nothing like that. This is normal, at least I think it is......

1. Fear of Compulsion
This is my main fear. The fear of becoming compulsive about reading. That I become dependent on it that I crave it . In other words to become my drug, and an addiction I worship. That one day, my reading addiction won't be a healthy addiction.

2. Fear of my books being stolen
I live in a good neighborhood, I haven't had anything stolen from me here in the 10 years I've lived here. Yet, I still have the fear of someone breaking in my house and stealing all my books. It' would be terrifying for me to have my 200+ books to all be stolen.

3. Fear of my house burning and losing my books.
I've always feared losing my possessions in a fire. It would be extremely disappointing, would probably even make me quit reading.

4. Fear of the guilt of buying too many books.
This drives my life. I have the desires to buy lots of books. What keeps me is, I don't want to feel guilty afterward. It makes me feel greedy, and miserable. Even right now that I don't have that may books, I turn around and feel guilty like I wasted my money unwisely, which I haven't.

5. Fear of reading being to good to be true.
Since, reading is a great pleasure of mine, when I do read and don't feel anxious. It makes me feel like something that brings so much happiness to my life isn't real, or too good to be true, that it may end too soon.


I don't want to be out of control, and I have been sane towards reading in the past. I just get these feelings sometimes. Maybe, I think to much on the negative. Either way, I'm going to confront my fears and read careless of what terrible things may happen, keeping it a healthy addiction.

Any tips, suggestions? Does this sound normal, or OCD?


MarceJ said...

You want the real answer :-0 just joking. Seriously, I think everyone has a fear of the house burning down and i'm sure many of us think of books.

Bookalicious Ramblings said...

Whoa, all of these hit very close to home, maybe I'm a bit a little crazy too, but I really can relate to what you wrote, it makes a lot of sense to me and these things are something that I think/worry about too ... :( Darling, I'm afraid we both might have an anxiety problem. ;)

Bella said...

I definitely have the guilt of buying too many books ... I always feel like, if I have books that I haven't read, or if I'm only going to read them once and not even enjoy them (or not at all, lol, novels have been known to sit on my shelves for years, waiting ...), then I'm wasting money that would be better spent on something else. Seriously, I have it bad. Even when I find books on serious sale. I think LOADS of people feel this way, so don't worry, you're quite normal! (",)

Kay said...

I used to share every one of these fears (except for that one about the extraordinary book thieves -if robbers have good enought taste to steal my books, they deserve them!)

But when I consider what we are supporting when we buy books - a thousand year old tradition of story telling that is dying out. We need dedicated readers. People who would rather spend money on books than food. People like us! And, in the grand scheme of things, what is the purchase of a book? Two lattes and a muffin? Do you feel guilty buying coffee?

As I said, I used to worry about all the time and money I spent reading. But it is either this, or cocaine. And I think paperbacks are a far healthier purchase.

Charmaine Clancy said...

We have been trained from birth to form attachments to items. It takes training to let go of that too. It's just stuff. The magic is in the stories not the form they take. I use to hoard all my books and had crates and crates in our shed and overflowing shelves everywhere - I recently got rid of most of them and surprisingly it felt great.
On the plus side as least it's not crack ;-)

Allison said...

I definitely have that fear of my house burning down and losing my books.

Liz said...

My biggest fear is that I won't have time to read every single book that sounds good before I die!

Eleni @ La Femme Readers said...

What a great post! I think many of us have the same fears. And yes I feel the same about this one: 3. Fear of my house burning and losing my books.

I've always said jokingly I'll try to shove as much books as I can out the window lol - I know insane :)

Book Monster said...

We all have fears, but when it actually happens to us you learn that it will be alright.

browneyedgirl said...

I think my fear is not being able to read all of my books. I have roughly 225, and have only read half of them. My problem is that I keep buying more, and no matter what I do, I just can't keep up! It's a vicious cycle :S

librarypat said...

Sorry, I can't help. I suffer from all the things you listed and have been for many more years than you have been alive.
I have 40+ full bookcases in my house and boxes of books with no place to put them. Sadly, I am adding more books every week. It is a compulsion. I'll have to live to 200 and not buy another book to get through them all.