Everyone has fears, right? I happen to have some reasonable (?) fears book-related. I find my self being threatened with these everyday. This must explain, why since I began reading back in September 09, I haven't read a large amount of books. By posting this, I hope to find a solution to my bookish fears.
I'm not crazy in no way, it's nothing like that. This is normal, at least I think it is......
1. Fear of Compulsion
This is my main fear. The fear of becoming compulsive about reading. That I become dependent on it that I crave it . In other words to become my drug, and an addiction I worship. That one day, my reading addiction won't be a healthy addiction.
2. Fear of my books being stolen
I live in a good neighborhood, I haven't had anything stolen from me here in the 10 years I've lived here. Yet, I still have the fear of someone breaking in my house and stealing all my books. It' would be terrifying for me to have my 200+ books to all be stolen.
3. Fear of my house burning and losing my books.
I've always feared losing my possessions in a fire. It would be extremely disappointing, would probably even make me quit reading.
4. Fear of the guilt of buying too many books.
This drives my life. I have the desires to buy lots of books. What keeps me is, I don't want to feel guilty afterward. It makes me feel greedy, and miserable. Even right now that I don't have that may books, I turn around and feel guilty like I wasted my money unwisely, which I haven't.
5. Fear of reading being to good to be true.
Since, reading is a great pleasure of mine, when I do read and don't feel anxious. It makes me feel like something that brings so much happiness to my life isn't real, or too good to be true, that it may end too soon.
I don't want to be out of control, and I have been sane towards reading in the past. I just get these feelings sometimes. Maybe, I think to much on the negative. Either way, I'm going to confront my fears and read careless of what terrible things may happen, keeping it a healthy addiction.
Any tips, suggestions? Does this sound normal, or OCD?